The answer to the war on terrorism

This week brings about more irrelevance than ever....with the recent goings on in Afghanistan, it has been a VERY minor news story as to what will happen once the Taliban is overcome. Well what would that discussion be without a fag's perspective?

The first suggestion I have is to release an army of felines to rule the country. Once we make Afghanistan the giant kitty litter box that it is, what better way to let the cats roam freely in a land all their own? There would need to be NO repairs or cleanup made at all as cats would have hundreds of thousands of square miles of relief space.....hence, the Pentagon need not bury themselves in budget issues. Some famous cats to emerge through the ages include Felix the Cat, Cheetara from Thundercats, Salem the talking cat from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, The Cat in the Hat, Big Pussy from The Sopranos, the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz, and Meow-Chi, the feline counterpart to Poo-chi. Any of these nominees would be very formidable candidates for the Afghan presidency. Even though that may lead to a "cat" fight, I am confident that a new and refreshing democracy can be achieved.

The second, and more realistic, however equally irrelevant, suggestion is to have a nation of fags run the hole. It may become very expensive to have a bunch of fashion conscious gay men run an entire nation. We would require the government's financial assistance in redesigning, reupholstering, and re-accessorizing the nation, because great taste costs dollars. Amongst the changes proposed would be illegalizing turbans [how the hell can one accessorize wearing one of those?], of course changing the country flag to the rainbow symbol [or re-colour the flag to be black and purple, as it would be if I were President of Gay], and regular fashion conscious events to educate straight people who cannot dress. Famous gays of the past century include Rock Hudson, Elton John, and that guy from Frasier. However, none is more famous than your favourite columnist, JuSTaFag. The race for the top spot would also definitely be a "cat" fight, as millions disapprove of my choice for First Lady, none other than my bargain basement pussy princess, Nala.

The pointless point is that no matter what becomes of a nation in ruin, there are quite feasible options of bettering our world. There are no other cultural movements on this entire planet that are more important or controversial than those of the felines and the homosexuals.