Transference...from the actual to the metaphysical...from the everyday to the unreal...previous chapters of life burned and forgotten, replaced with a renewal of intention. Inside, the box's contents are yearning for release. The mundane is begging for other-worldly recognition. Starting here, and starting now, the not-so-great gets noticed.
What is the big deal in taking friends out to dinner for a birthday, subsequently going to a club, dancing the night away, and going home? None at all. Very often, the real entertainment evolves from the observations of others. Somewhere in the smoke cachet is fun to be had at the expense of others. Whether or not the subjects know, their actions are screaming for credit, regardless of the price to their ego.
Evidently, some such patron's was at an all time low...most normal people can find someone to dance with, even if it a rather distant acquaintance. However, this strapping young man's object of affection was a wall. Yes, a WALL...as in brick wall, Wall Street, ad nauseum. Was this a homo-political statement? Would the wall take a human shape and start swaying with song? Stay tuned for seconds of endless entertainment...
Where exactly would the politics be in dancing with a concrete barrier? Is it an anti-man proclamation? It simply cannot be, for we have enough angst-ridden, cabinet building lesbian feminists to take care of that. Certainly any mental patient who would sooner dance with a stone blockade than a man is not winning any votes...just witness the Mark Green campaign fracas. Very luckily, the ants who are synonymous with hard-hitting cutting-edge journalism were on the case:
Fag: What in the bleeding HELL are you doing?!?!!?!?
Patient: Dancing with the wall...it's very therapeutic...cathartic...invigorating.
Fag: And what exactly does this do for you? Are there secret jollies to be realized? I've heard of "getting your rock off," but never have I heard "getting off on a rock." Please explain.
Patient: So much time and energy is wasted in combing the masses for a human to have sex with. More often than not, those seeking carnal gratification wind up the big losers of the evening, leaving this place depressed and void of self-worth. Person to person action is so overrated. This way, I can say I got some, come back to this very place to get some next week, and not have to deal with a voice or a pulse. It's like being on hold, only the holding is on my end and it's far more pleasurable.
Fag: What would you do if this barricade ever developed a set of balls and told you to seek fun elsewhere?
Patient: That only happens in the movies. I remember when I...
Ironically, emerging from the wall was the biggest scrotal mishap the world had ever seen. It had no voice, but its deeds left us all speechless. This box of rocks was not so dumb as it grew a great pair of beer nuts and thwapped Patient right upside his empty skull. We didn't get to see the Powerpuff Girls, but Townsville was indeed saved one more time...
Now, we move on the culturally insensitive portion of this harangue. The setting is a simple cab ride gone awry, but rest assured this is a far better taxi-cab confession than a silicone infested female lactating in the back seat and passing it off as talent.
Drunken discussion is always best behind a minority. Sensitivity and tact took the back seat right long with the passengers. One dropped comment led to an orbit of controversy: "If I had Arab friends, I'd insult them." Very cordially, Punjab continued to take these three jolly kids without incident or a blow up replica of Gandhi to their destination; however, undoubtedly, a new beckoning of attacks were being planned on every gay bar and club within a 500 mile radius. Whoever said the gay white male is the new wave of terrorism should get a cookie.
At this juncture, one may wonder, "What is the fiber that holds this together? What is the point here?" Well nana, if you want fiber, get Metamucil. For the point, it's rather plain that if you miss a tile whilst cleaning the bathroom, it will remain dirty until it is noticed.
KEEP ON TRUCKIN!!!!!!!
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